"can you just go?"

okay. i hate nothing more than when i lose the internet. to be fair, it was my fault. normally, i'm a computer wiz so when i lost my connection about a week and a half ago, i thought i'd be all technical and go into the router properties. mistake. internet went completely down.

and that's not the only thing that went down.

my god. it's been a fantastic two weeks. not.

people are leaving left right and center. there's only one more to go. it sucks big time.

me and my boyfriend have been arguing non-stop about really stupid stuff. the other day i threw two china plates across my house. dramatic, i know, but i was so angry it was throw plates or throw down. the other day we had a really huge argument. i went to his house to try and make it all better but it just made it worse. now he's really angry at me and he hasn't spoken to me in two days. it's awful.

the worst thing is, i know it's all my fault. i'm pushing him away because i'm a bit of a nightmare to be around (see above comment about plate throwing) but now he won't even talk to me and i'm so scared of losing him.

my dad is my shining knight. when he asked me how everything was going (he's just got back from ANOTHER business trip) i told him what happened and straight away he said "scoob (that's his nickname for me) you need to give him space, if he doesn't want to come out with you then let him do his own thing or you'll push him away"

thanks pop, where have you been!?

jesus, it was so obvious yet no-one else had said it to me. hail to the "y" chromosome.

so i left a long voicemail message with my boyfriend (pre-daddy chats) and i haven't heard anything from him since we argued.

oh, i didn't mention that he told me he didn't love me? god, he was like a completely different person, it was insane. he was like one of his friends, who quite frankly is not in my good books. my boyfriend went out the night we argued and at 3am i got a text from his friend (the one not in my good books) that said "if you love him you'll do what's best and leave him"

WHAT.

don't get involved prick. the longest relationship you've ever had is with your hair. poncy bugger cheats on every girlfriend he somehow gets and terrorises the one's who actually care about him. it's shocking. and he's trying to give me advice? bitch please. what he doesn't know is that my boyfriend secretly hates him. ha. he thinks he knows everything. boy, you know nothing.

so i'm really not entirely sure what's going on. i feel like i'm in limbo. my boyfriend wouldn't cross the threshold to talk to me. just stood half in the doorway. and he wouldn't give me a hug! dude, that sucked. then he said "look, can you just go? i'm going out in a bit" then he proceded to wander round his house talking to his mum and getting ready to go out. so i cried a lot and walked away from the house. my friend had given me a lift to his so she got out the car and gave me a massive hug and when i looked up at the house, boyfriend and his mum were staring at me.

i really hope i don't lose him. especially because of his wanker "friend".