"in a relationship"

i've been thinking about the concept of moving on quite a lot today.

tomorrow i'm taking my driving test. i am absolutely shitting myself. firstly, because i can't drive. secondly, because i've always loved driving and always wanted to drive and i really don't want to fail. if i pass tomorrow, it'll start a whole new branch in my life? i know it doesn't sound like much but a pink driver's license symbolises freedom, and says "hey, there's something i can do". i don't have a car yet, but as soon as i do, my god i'm gonna drive so far away i won't be able to get back.

on top of that, i have to deal with something new. the guy i've been seeing, i think i referred to him as the "super cute, super funny, proper lad"? well i've spent a lot of time with him this week, and last night he got drunk at my house while i had some friends over and for his own safety i suggested he spend the night. for those with dirty minds similar to mine, nothing happened. but i had a really vivid nightmare about the ex. oh yeah, he's still on my mind. in the dream, everyone was still at my house, and when my mum came home she told me that my ex was outside... when i opened the door he was blind drunk and shouting at me for moving on with someone new... it was so real, it's unbelievable. as of recent, my dreams have been so vivid, i'm starting to believe that i leave my body and go to an alternate universe when i sleep, and my dreams are actually real. so when i woke up from the nightmare about my ex, the first thing i did was gasp very loudly and  flail, to then have my arm caught my SCSFPL (super cute, super funny, proper lad) which shocked me even more because i completely forgot he was in my bed! not cool.

to top things off, he's changed his facebook status to "in a relationship". one, we have not discussed this. two, i am no-where near ready to be in another relationship. three, i'm still head over heels, heart-breakingly in love with my ex.

my head is genuinely going to explode.